ORIENTAL BLUES
I am one great movie. But no matter how great the movie is, after the show, everyone leaves.
Yes, I am selfish for wanting someone who belongs to someone else. But I am not trying to steal him away. Am I? As I’ve predicted weeks ago, this whole shit would end up in a crying scene. It’s either he leaves or, I do.
He belongs to someone. So, who belongs to me?
I’m about to let go. Really. I might have had been strong in the last few weeks but in reality, I was slowly dying. I knew it was a mess and a big wrong move to start with. But crazy and obnoxious as I am, I take risks. I welcome risks with open arms. And now, it’s the same bullshit. Same thing. Same sad lovestory.
Lemz told me last night that I’m not ‘gaga’ for pursuing someone that makes me happy. But she said, as long as he belongs to someone else, I have to let him go. And why does it have to be me? I feel that it’s always me who has to let go.
I don’t know what am I to him and I’m not sure what he is to me either. But I am happy whenever I’m with him. And if that’s not good enough reason for me to stay, then I ought to be going my way. A part of me wants to stay and just be with him till he leaves Cebu. I feel that I should make the best of whatever is left of our time together, but Lemz reminded me that whatever it is that is happening right now may mean that I have to love myself MORE. True.
Yes, I have to love myself MORE…enough not to let anyone hurt me again.
Moreover, things are easier said than done. I just hope he gets to prove his worth soon, before it’s too late.
We’re both strangers, from two different worlds apart. And it’s frightening and at the same time exciting to be with someone who is so different from you are.
But again, these differences make the ride worthwhile.
Leave a Reply